Thursday, September 28, 2006

Breaking Playstation 3 News!!


I've just gotten word from extremely official asian men with clipboards, who say that Sony has hidden an ace up their sleeve. Word has been floating around about what features PS3 will have that seperates itself from its competitors, but little has been set in stone. Well, today I give to you the most groundbreaking news regarding this hidden feature. The Playstation 3 will double as a tanning bed for your sister's (or brother's--must be politically correct you know) Barbie dolls.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Have Your Cake and Eat It...What!?!

I've always had trouble with this cliche. You know the one, "Have your cake and eat it to." usually you hear parents telling it to their children in some high and mighty tone, the kind of tone that says, "I know more than you and this cliche expresses that." But that's beside the point, what really frosts me is the saying itself. Let's think about it for a moment. To have ones cake and to also eat it indicates that some entity gets something they desire, but it is not quite enough so they ask for or seek something to supplement or augment what they already have. Okay, now this quip relies on a foundational object: cake. The problem I have with this is what is any other sentient being supposed to do with cake. Cake is not made to build bridges or to solve disputes amongst warring nations. Cake is a food object, which is intended to be eaten. That is to say the only reason we have cake is so we can eat it. This statement is improperly used on a daily basis, I charge whoever reads this to stop their fellow man and ask them to think before uttering such a unfounded line.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Where's the Content?

I hate looking at blogs with AdSense. I know it sounds like a great deal and all, "Hey put our ads on your blog and get money for nothing!" But giving Google this freedom can be like giving the neighbors freedom to poop on your lawn. Sure your grass may look a little greener, but you have to deal with the smell, and not being able to walk around with naked feet. It can be a challenge discerning text from ads, and links tend to be repelled three feet down screen by unnecessary garbage. Looking for content can be like looking for Waldo.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Freudian Drift

I won't usually post my dreams here--unless you ask really nicely--but this one deserves attention because it is directly related to my last post. I dreamt my last post got the attention of the blogger.com ruling body- something called the IEFC. They posted a comment on beautiful digital stationary describing how the contents of my blog had diverged from the expectations of blogger.com, and that such actions would be dealt with accordingly. I remember feeling really let down because I thought the blogsphere was the place to write absolutely anything without red-tape ramifications.

If my sub-conscious is reading this, post a comment explaining how you work. If you do, I'll unlock my 'special' thoughts for you.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Thing that Seperates Us from Ourselves

As humans, we think that we are unstoppable. If we encounter a situation we deem unnecessary, unpredictable, unstable, or generally just bad for our perceived versions of self we alter the thing that confronts us, our method of travel beyond that thing, or--heaven forbid--we alter ourselves. That is what humans do, we alter things. I read somewhere that humans and beavers share the distinction of being the only two mammals capable, and willing, to alter their environments to such a drastic degree.

As humans we also have distinct powers of creation. Art, music, law, literature, dance, government, song, and theater are all constructs that have emerged as a result of our being human.

Now here is the punchline. Despite, and almost in negation to, our unstoppable nature, humans have allowed their creations to override their visions of self. It has been tested in a handful of psychological studies in which the power to 'electrocute' others has been given to someone. Because they have the power, and because the test administrator very passionately encourages it, the individual with the ability to shock another does so to a point of near death in almost all cases. Despite a persons best intentions/morals/ethics/etc. the institution of power influencing that person will always override that individual. You can see this in nearly all institutions of power, but government is probably the most easily examined structure. You can start to watch for it now during election year. Watch a candidate get elected with his good intentions. Take note of the things he promised or attempted to make positive changes to. Two years down the road, take stock of how he is performing. I bet you gold to gonads his ideals have been corrupted by the very things he sought to change.

As sad as it is to say, we really are our own worst enemy.

In my next post, I'll try to cheer you guys up. This was something I just had to get off my chest.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Steve Irwin 1962-2006

To remember this environmental icon with a moment of silence would be blasphemous. Instead I urge you to run outside, in your boxers, grab the nearest animal--be it squirrel, pigeon, cat, or snake, wrestle it to the ground and yell, "That one's for Steve Irwin mate!"

Sunday, September 03, 2006

"Crank" is cut

Picture this. Jason Stratham, one of the top emerging martial arts actors. He did a fairlly bang-up job in "The Transporter" and its sequel with some dynamic fight concepts and innovative use of environment. Now, his character wakes up to find that he's been injected with a poison called Beijin Cocktail--it blocks adrenal inhibitors in the heart causing it to eventually slow to a stop. So what's he do, like any other dude, he finds the snake who did this to him and puts him and his croonies through his own brand of sick torture. But here's the catch. Stratham's character must keep his adrenaline levels high in order to counteract his rapidly retarding heart. Or he dies.

Sounds intense, sounds like there would be plenty of oppurtunity for catchy one-liner's or memorable finishing moves. But "Crank" came up way short. There is not a single micron of martial arts action in the entire movie. This dawned on me partway through the movie, so I put my senses on high alert and without scrutiny hoping for a simple grapple, roundhouse kick, or flashy counter attack; enough to not give this movie a perfect kill. But I got nothing. Sure there were some innovative cinematic aspects and even a cleverly done scene where the audience is duped by the main characters perscription-induced hallucinations, but I won't talk about them because the lack of martial arts action from an actor with a pedigree of entertaining ability is so dissapointing, it ecllipses everything else. For martial arts fans hoping to see an exciting movie done in there era, something that you can look back on and think, "Now that was the golden age of martial arts movies," save your money for "The Protector".

Saturday, September 02, 2006

When They Untie Your Hands...

...and pull the bag off your head you're confronted by a myriad of unfamiliar sensory experiences. So you dive in and create your own existence.

Hello, I would like to formally greet everyone who stumbles on my domain, I wish you peace. This blog will cover a variety of topics to be shared and explored with the rest of the world. Enjoy, and have a pleasant stay.